i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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