We named our party play list daddy issues
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
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