No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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