The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
