As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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