you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
