whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
