normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
