Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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