When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
