I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
