She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
