We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
