do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
