nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
