is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
