Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
