Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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