Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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