Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
