he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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