Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Randomize
