Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
