goodnight i made you a song goodbye
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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