he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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