I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
this is an emotional support booty call
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
