everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
