Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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