She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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