Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
