I want to make a zoo with you.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize