i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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