I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Randomize
