Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
