Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
