Princesses don't give blow jobs
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
