i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
