Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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