I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
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