When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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