pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
