6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Let's paint friendship bongs
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
