the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
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