going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Randomize