You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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