I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
