That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
