were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
