dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I party with great urgency now.
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