How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
