I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Randomize