i always forget guys have bellybuttons
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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