Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
