She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
