why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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