Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
