you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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