Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Randomize
