I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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