she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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