I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize