i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Randomize