You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
