I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Randomize
