What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
