i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
