OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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