i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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