the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
