**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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