We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
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