Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
