im holly from the hills drunk
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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